S telefónom

(26.11.2007, J. sa hrá s telefónom, ktorý zvláštne pípal)
J: "Ó, ono sa to dá celé rozobrať, si si všimla? ... Toto ide semó ... veď počkaj!, ti zakrútim gágorom. No. Ták a ták ... šak počkáj, póčkááj! Ták a stíchol!"
A: "A čo ty mu vlastne robíš?"
J: "Mu vyberám kabliky."

(po všetkom, láskyplne)
J: "Spinkaj..."

Kreatívni

(31.10.2007, 13:25, o zastúpení znamení zverokruhu)
T: "...šak keď je nás šesť miliárd a tristopäť-... tristopä-... #$@% !! ...koľko je dní v roku?!"

A: "Ja som mala grafy, čo sa volali Krajčírstvo."
L: "Ja Bulharsko!"

(16.11.2007, 13:46)
T: "Už ukladám také obrázky, že Dokelu!"

Employee under pressure

Level of employee's madness

(short report about reaction of a human exposed to common work life)

Lucky dog

• Looks: attractive, stylish, fresh, charming - but all chill and easy-going
• Signs: happy, happy, happy, optimistic, enthusiastic, nicely decorated office, wall newspaper and office desk, joking (with boss), flirting (with colleagues of oposite sex), smiling like a stupid, telling everybody how much he LOVES his job
• Ariving: on time
• Leaving: on time
• Special note: Okey, I'm a liar, this level doesn't really exist. I just wanted to start with something nice and pleasant. But if you know somebody feeling like the Lucky Dog, go ahead - let me know and break my utopian dreams!

Diligent/Hard-working

• Looks: still good-looking, paying rather big attention to his appearance, trying to follow latest fashion trends, but due to being absorbed in work, he's often misplaced
• Signs: 12 and more hours working time, strong naivety, belief in meaning of his work, willing to start any (even useless) work (= volunteering), although not sleeping very operative and active, addicted to coffee, black tea, multivitamines and stimulating drugs, scatter-brained when overworking too much, muscle twitches
• Ariving: earlier then others
• Leaving: later then others, or staying day or two...
• Special note: These are typical idealistic workoholics. Staying in this level may ruin the social and family life, cause a multifarious variety of diseases and health troubles (starting with flu, end with malaria).

Awaken

• Looks: bug-eyed, unkempt, shabby clothes
• Signs: suspicious, nervous, panicked, desperate, disenchanted, frustrated, later apathetic or falling asleep, due to sleeping problems in the night, first trying to get rid of all addictions, then stops trying and gets some new addictions
• Ariving: little late
• Leaving: at first opportunity
• Special note: This level is a breaking point - if the employee does not suffer a nervous breakdown now, he continues either to the upper levels, or he proceeds to some specialised medical center or changes job definitively.

Revolutionary/Counteracter:

• Looks: extravagant dress adverting hidden messages, provocative
• Signs: wrangling, rejecting the orders and work, intentionally counteracting them, spreading seditious thoughts, inclination to extremistic opinions, coarse manners, laughing at almost everything the boss says (strictly speaking sneering at him, first unobtrusively, then openly, into his face)
• Ariving: pointedly late
• Leaving: pointedly early
• Special note: Might be very influential to other employees in lower levels, he seems convincing to them.

Fighter/Counterstriker:

• Looks: cunning scary = he simulates normal look, but there is something worrying, nightmarish, creepy and disturbing in his appearance (like in Hitchcok movies, it is all part of a well-considered strategy...)
• Signs: working more than Diligent employee (NOT on assigned duties, but on marauder action), stubborned, very active, energetic, giggling and sniggering, laughing without any clear reason (private jokes), chafing hands, insensitive to external stimulation, ignoring the surrounding world, startled when addressed, strongly concentrated on his own inner world full of deranged plans
• Ariving (= appearing): unexpected
• Leaving (= disappearing): unexpected
• Special note: In this level employee may meet his colleagues that left from the Awaken level straight to specialized medical cenrtre. He joins them.

Prečo ma nežiadať o pomoc

... a čo mi dnes istý kamarát vyviedol!

Martin: Pomozes mi vramci cvicenia napisat jeden mail?

me: Okok

V akom jazyku?

Komu?

Martin: Vyhutas daco ja som o 10 minut nazad.

me: Aha, skus najprv vyhutat tu...

me: ty

Sprosty?

Martin: V anglickom. Co najslusnejsie sa opytat ze v akom stadiu je moj clanko ktory som zaslal pred mesiacom....

Martin: Ale ja neviem ja mam nenormalny odpor vobec neviem ako to naformulovat, voooobec

(nasledoval mail s ďalej uvedeným obsahom)

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TAKTO:

Dear Mister Responsible for Publishing of My Article!
I wanted to ask you very kindly, what the fuck is going on with my fucking article that I have send you a month ago! Fuck! If you do not like it or if you think something is fucking wrong with it, tell me and do not play these fucking hide-and-seek games!
Eat my shorts!
Yours sincerely

ALEBO DRUHA MOZNOST:

Good day.
I would like to ask you about my article that I have send you a month ago. I did not recieve any answer or announcement about publishing or rejecting it or whatever. Could you, please, let me know what is the current situation?
Thank you
Yours sincerely

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me: Uz som ti posalla.

Martin: Ani to necitam, rovno posielam.

Hotovo.

me: Ne!!

Mrto, ne!!

Ja som tam somariny popisala!!

Nerob!!

(nasledoval telefónny hovor v trvaní 55 sekúnd, v závere ktorého sa hlavný hrdina prezradil)

me: TY SVÍÍÍÍŇŇÁÁÁÁÁÁ !!!

V izbe

(Pepo sa chváli):
Pepo: "Tak ma byť nulak zapojeny!"
Mrťo: "Teraz ťa zabije elektrika."

Veselo

(6.11.2007, spadol telefónny aparát na zem):
J: "Prišli sme o pevnú linku. Háló? Nó! Nevolám si!"
J: "Hej!! Tebe keď spadne telefón, tak nejde? Hóď ho o zém..."

(vonku je polo-strašná zima)
J: "Keď je zima, sa nechodí do roboty... Čo keď nedojdem?...Ochoriem?..."

Dnešné perly

(5.11.2007, dlhočasové vypätie):
J: "Ale včera ma napadla myšlienka, že alkohol oslobodzuje."